Hello? Are you even listening??

     

We're talking about friendships in my ladies Bible study and today the topic of listening came up. Do we really listen to our friends when they are talking or are we hearing, but not taking the time to really take it in? You can ask yourself that in any of your relationships. Are you too pre-occupied? Is your phone always in your hand and you're looking at it while a friend, or spouse, whomever, is trying to tell you something or reach out to you? Put the phone down! The phone thing is one of my BIGGEST things I despise. I don't own a smart phone and I never will. I have a cell phone that is never in my hand and always in my purse and half the time I have no idea it buzzed or rang. My phone isn't part of me. I have one for emergency contact reasons since I have small children. But let's move on.

     Are you guilty of hearing, but not listening? Are you guilty of listening, but maybe not to everything, and then jumping in with a response? Are you guilty of responding by telling the other person the same thing happened to you and than turning it into all about you? Do you give judgement or advice? Do you give advice that isn't asked for? Sometimes you just need to zip it and listen. I am not going to pat myself on the back, because I have been guilty of some of those things, but I have always been told I was a good listener. My friends and family have always come to me when they need to talk it out, or looking for advice. I may not have any, but I can listen. I think everyone can think back through their relationships and remember a time that maybe they didn't listen, they weren't focused on the person and their words, or they gave advice where none was asked for, or even needed. Or maybe you even jumped to conclusions or became accusatory or judgmental before even hearing what the person said.

James 1:19 - Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger

when suffering, don't run

My mother's birthday is coming up in two days. Of course she no longer has birthday's. Thursday will be a hard day for me and my family. My mom would have been just 64. I am certainly not the only person in the world who's lost a parent, in fact my husband lost his mother to cancer after a 14 month battle on Jan 25, 2006. That was 8 years ago and though the pain may have lessened, its still there and I am sure much more so for him and his family. Her birthday was just one day after mine. She was 60 when she passed away. I know they say it gets easier - maybe it does - I really don't have a read on how my husband and his brother deal with their mother being gone. I had become close with their Dad following that and I do know how badly he suffered. He has since re-married and celebrated his one year anniversary this year. Its fantastic to see him so happy and I know his wife wanted that too. 

We are studying Job in Sunday school right now. There were two different classes to choose from and I was torn on what I wanted to study, but now that we are in it, I think this is probably where I need to be right now. When you talk about suffering, Job suffered. Its interesting to hear my pastor talk about this man and his life. I know my pastor gets that many of us are also suffering in some way and he knows how that makes many of us feel - our human nature. We are only in the 3rd week of the study and sadly I will be missing week 4, but we have already learned that Job was a good man and believer and trusted in his Heavenly Father. The Bible suggests that Satan came to God and asked to test Job, thinking that he would surely falter once life wasn't so easy for him. After everything was taken from him ; his wealth, his lands, his farmhands, his animals, his children, his wife's trust, his health ; Job responded by worshiping the Creator. He didn't sit there and wallow in self pity or give up hope and wish to die. Those trials, those tests, that I talked about in my last post, Job went through that, and God knew he would not falter. 

Fight to live

Robin Williams 1951-2014

Yesterday Facebook and TV exploded with the news of Robin Williams (actor) being found dead of apparent suicide. Since then, everyone and their brother has an opinion. I am no different so I decided to take to the blog world to speak my mind. Its been reported that Williams may have been depressed and if anyone knows anything about the actor, they know he's suffered from drug and alcohol problems. Nobody yet knows all the details and nobody will ever know why he did what he did. It is very shocking to hear the news of such a comedic, well-loved actor to something as horrific as self strangulation...as has been alleged.

I am not speaking today about Robin Williams, but I want to speak about the opinions, and the feelings I am seeing bursting onto Facebook and media reports and that is about the idea of ending ones life. I think the most shocking comment I saw today was that of someone I do not know saying they felt everyone should be allowed to choose when their life can be over, thus saying that suicide is a good way to go. Saying that suicide is an option if you just feel it's time your life was over is beyond comprehensible for me. Suicide is not something to take lightly. Suicide is generally done by people who are desperate and destitute. Sure, accidental suicides seem to occur by those who just don't know when too many drugs, or too much alcohol is too much, but for those who consciously decide their life is no longer worth living that they are capable of ending their life - just imagine for a moment how these people are feeling inside. They aren't thinking clearly. They might think they are, but they are not. When you get to that point you are no longer thinking about anything except ending your pain. Your friends and family do not come into the picture at all. Sure one might have a moment where they convince themselves they are doing their loved ones a favor by ending it, but that just shows how not in the right mind they have become.

No computer in my pocket

Why do I have a Tracfone? Simply put...it's cheap. But that is not the only reason. A Tracfone if you don't know what that is, is a phone you buy (my current one is an LG and cost me a whopping $30 and looks like a slimmer Blackberry, sort of) and than you add minutes on to your phone in varying amounts and need to do so every 90 days to keep your phone active. So my $30 phone also doubles every minute I buy and I mostly get away with buying just 60 minutes every 3 months for $20 which than gives me 120 minutes and you can always find promo codes online for an extra 30 minutes. That amounts than to 150 minutes every 3 months. I no longer have to apply minutes every 3 months because I have so many service day accumulated. This phone is saving me at minimum $400 a year over my contract phone I used to have (which was $45 a month for just 500 minutes, nothing unlimited, and which I used about 5-10 min a month) . How can this be? Because I do not need the internet. I use my cell phone as, yes, a phone. I do text on my phone as well. I have the option of going online, but I don't. You can not do on a Tracfone what you can do on say an Iphone. I'm okay with that, and here's why.

Overstimulated, un-inspired

The title pretty much sums up me right now. I feel overwhelmed with all that I want to get done, all the I need to get done, and all that I have to get done. With so much going on through my head every day, so much potential inspiration, it's led me to feeling un-inspired. You might say, how can that be? Or, that doesn't make any sense. Let me explain what I mean, and perhaps maybe one person out there has felt the same way.

My daughter has begun preschool 3 days a week for a mere 2 1/2 hours each day while my son started 1st grade. So, my plan for that 2 hours is to get all this stuff done that I really wanted to do all summer but found no time for. On my list of things, and it's a long list, is writing for one. As anyone can see that might happen upon my blog, I haven't been keeping up with writing and what I have been writing has been very un-inspiring. I have a lot to say, trust me, words fly about inside my head all the time, so many that I can't get them down fast enough before more are there shoving the others out of way. It gets very crowded in there! That being said, I have never been a chatter box, or someone who is very outgoing or speaks a lot out-loud, I just have the words inside and like to write them down. Writing seemed a logical step for me. I've had encouragement in the past by several meaningful people about my skill and how I should pursue it, and so I wanted too, but I find it so hard to make time to just sit and write when I have a house and family to run. My daughter being in school now seemed like I would finally have time, but as I sit down to write, I feel like I have nothing important to say and yes I have started a teen book that I do intend to finish, but it feels so jumbled up and I continue to have ideas for scenes in the story that everything gets all tangled up in my head I have a hard time figuring it out and getting down perfectly. This is something I have always struggled with.

My qualms of the week

Going to be as quick as I can with today's blog. With the recent changes in regards to our children's health and safety, I am left wondering 2 things; a) how did I ever make it to adulthood? and b) since when is it the government's, or doctor's or anyone else's right to tell me how to raise and take care of my own child? Am I not the parent? It seems like anymore, they are trying to take away our parenting rights. What's next? Obviously some intentions are good ones, and some rules/laws need to be in place. Obviously a parent or guardian who is abusing their child, in any form, deserves to be punished and that child removed from that situation. That's not what I am talking about it here. I'm referring to the parents who are doing right by their kids, doing every we can do for them based on our own beliefs and values.

Motherhood/MTV's Teen Mom

Over the weekend my husband and myself took the kids to a local farm where they have several fall festivities for the kids, and adults, like a pumpkin patch and corn maze. We met up with a friend from my son's preschool (where he went last year). While the kids, my 3 and 5 year old and her twin 5 year olds, wandered about, excited about finding the next check point in the maze, along with my husband, the two of us moms had some nice chats. It just makes me feel more normal when I speak to other moms who go through the same struggles day in and day out as I do in being a parent. Being a parent is probably the hardest job I've ever had. It's not that we don't love our kids, because though they may drive us crazy, we are so thankful for them everyday, and feel blessed, though when you're repeating yourself over and over and over and they child isn't listening, that may be the farthest thing from your mind.

Everything changes

I really need to blog more often...but finding topics (as I really haven't found yet) and time (the biggest issue) is hard. There has been so much going on my life...but I don't want to bore people with my petty issues. Today's blog is just gonna be totally random. Sorry if it bores you.

I was listening to the radio on the way to pick up my son from preschool and it was tuned to the Ryan Seacrest show. Antonio Bandaras was a guest. Ryan asked him what the secret was to being married now for 14 years. In his very strong accent, and mixed up words, I understood what he said and I totally agreed. He said, "you need to believe [in each other] and you need to believe in love changing". He said that people get freaked out when that high you feel in the first 6 months, or the first year of being together wears off so they feel they need to move on in the continual search to find that feeling. He is absolutely right. Love changes. I have seen too many people get divorced and for petty reasons and what it comes down to is that they were bored. They feel like being a couple should be non-stop all over each other...that giddy, happy, high on a cloud feeling you get when you first meet someone and how you feel those first few months to a year. That feeling wears off...it just does. That doesn't mean you aren't compatible anymore or aren't meant to be together...explore the change...embrace it. Change isn't always a bad thing...change can be very good. Being comfortable with someone can be even more rewarding than the sort-of butt-kissing you do when you just start dating someone. You can relax and really and truly be yourself. Not that you aren't in the beginning, but we all know we may not share every detail about our life or personality with someone in the beginning, whether consciously or not.

Anyway, since I seem to be on some kind of marriage kick (blogging about it that is) I thought I would share this today. My intent on this blog was not to be that of marriage counseling, but oddly feeling that way right now!

Life out there

Let me start this blog by wishing all the mother's out there a Happy Mother's day.

Now onto to my thought of the day. I am subscribed to a few blogs, mostly people I know, but there are a few that I happened to just come across by accident that stood out to me and I saved. One such blog is mostly dealing with anything and everything pertaining to space. Space exploration, technology and the current news surrounding them. So on this blog I decided to check out a few of his favorite blog sites. I reached one that was talking about aliens in space. This person had done their research and their post was written very well and so it got me thinking about something to post on my own blog.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I love the science-fiction genre; aliens, space ships, space travel - all of that. So it brings up an interesting and sometimes touchy subject with many questions, but let me answer this one first. Do I think there are really aliens living out there in space somewhere that we just haven't met yet? My answer is no. While I do enjoy the fantasy and reading about them, I do not believe they exist in real life. So why don't I? Well, maybe it's foolish of me to think this way, and maybe I need to brush on my scripture, but my belief is that if there were other beings out there in space, God would have told us about them in the Bible.

Use the force?

So I am sitting here watching one of my favorite shows, Fringe and beside me is The Writer Magazine opened to page 36. Normally when I watch TV, no matter if it's my all-time favorite movie or what, I always have something to work on at the same time; a book I'm reading and can't put down, a magazine I am glancing at and reading an article that caught my eye, or working on a craft project. Nearly always my computer is on my lap, or very near-by. My computer is many things to me, an outlet, a resource, my connection to the outside world, or some-days even a source of headaches.

But all these things got me thinking about something that I often wonder about myself. First let me explain the article in The Writer, which spurred this thought process. The article is called, "Earth to writer -- Listen up". The sub-heading reads, "A former science-fiction/fantasy editor at Penguin and Random House describes the most common writing and marketing mistakes she saw", the article is written by Liz Scheier. So I skipped right to the main points. I won't go into detail on all the points, if you want to know you'll need to buy the magazine. So the 4th point says "Hopping on the trend band-wagon". So in the 2nd paragraph explaining this point this stuck out to me, she was talking about an author she met that was a great historical fantasy writer who then tried to write contemporary and had never read this type of genre enough to understand it or how to write it. The result of this new direction failed. So her closing statement is this, "Spread your wings, by all means, but don't try to force what isn't working."