Happy New Year!

NOTE: I wrote this post in 2016 and I never completed it, but I wanted to post now (in 2018)what I wrote to show some growth since the loss of my mother. 


It's been one year since I posted on the blog...a YEAR! How did that much time go by? The last year had many ups and downs. Grief, illness and so many other things that I am sure each of us deal with as well. Now it's 2016 and I say this all the time, I will post more often. I WANT to post more often and I want to post things that are helpful, or entertaining. I've been thinking a lot about what I am supposed to be doing with my life. I pray about it a lot, asking God to open my mind and show me where I fit, what I should be doing, what he wants me to be doing because I feel like I am not doing anything. Being a mom of two children is itself, doing something; being a homemaker is itself doing something, but I want to do more, to feel useful, but what? This is something I have really been praying about and giving a lot of thought on because I also want to find that place in my church where I am needed and can serve to the best of my abilities...whatever those are. I guess I have always wanted to help people, and I do when I get the opportunity, but even that seems like it's not enough. So it's a new year and I am hoping this is my year to figure out where God wants me to serve. Those of you who might happen upon my little blog, please if you would, say a prayer that my mind will be open, my heart will receive whatever it is that God wants me to do. I hope I haven't ignored it. 

I don't want to bore you with everything that happened in my life in the past year. I don't want a pity party for the trials I have faced and am facing now. I know that God gives us these trials for his plan. Do I understand that plan? No. Should I complain about the trials given to me? No. Should I seek God's grace and accept his will, and give my burdens to my savoir, Jesus Christ? Yes! Is that easy? No! I am far from a perfect Christian, NONE OF US ARE. I want to keep this verse in my head at all times, "Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you." I Peter 5:7 This past fall my church invited a revival group to revive us, and it was wonderful. Prior to them coming to speak to us for those 4 days, and yes, I attended with my children each night because I felt it was a commitment that was important, my pastor asked that if we felt driven to do so, that we fast, for a week, a few days, a few meals, whatever we were comfortable with, to prepare our hearts for the message. I am not going to tell you about my journey, but I will say that it was good time of reflection for me. I had never fasted in that way before. My journey had me reading in the book of James and Psalms and I was being touched by the words. Psalms 119:50 says this, "My comfort in my suffering is this, your promise preserves my life." God made us a promise, and his promise wasn't that we would not be subject to loss, to pain, to illness, to any sort of trial or bad season of your life. John 3;16 "For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life

The tale of a uterus with two horns

Drawing simulating Bicornuate Uterus 

NOTE: This was originally written for Yahoo Contributor Network (Formally Associated Content) which has since been shut down. I wrote this in March, 2009.



The day I found out I was pregnant was one of the happiest days of my life. It was my very first pregnancy, and it had taken us only four months to get there. When that urine test showed positive I immediately informed my husband and then it wasn't long after that we told our families. It was the natural thing to do, after all, you get pregnant, and you tell everyone you know that you’re having a baby because you’re excited about it, as it should be.

I was about five weeks pregnant when I showed the first signs of trouble, which I informed my doctor of right away. I was spotting. It was very scary and my doctor had me come in right away to check things out. When I told them the spotting had only been brown blood they weren’t really very concerned, but decided it was best to do an ultrasound. The pregnancy was still very early so they needed to do a vaginal ultrasound, and in a few seconds, there on the monitor they could see my uterus, and my little grain of rice -my baby. The pregnancy was confirmed and they actually were able to see the baby’s heartbeat, and the machine told them that I was six weeks along.

After I left the doctor’s office I felt much better about things. The next week, I started spotting again. This time the spotting was pink and they still weren't too concerned and just said to call if it became bright red. I will never forget that morning, about 4 A.M. when I saw the bright red blood. I put a frantic call into my doctors answering service and then he called back soon after. He said it could be a miscarriage but wanted me to come in to the office first thing. I did and by that time the bleeding had lessened. Unfortunately that baby was not meant to be and an ultrasound confirmed my worst nightmare.

Hello? Are you even listening??

     

We're talking about friendships in my ladies Bible study and today the topic of listening came up. Do we really listen to our friends when they are talking or are we hearing, but not taking the time to really take it in? You can ask yourself that in any of your relationships. Are you too pre-occupied? Is your phone always in your hand and you're looking at it while a friend, or spouse, whomever, is trying to tell you something or reach out to you? Put the phone down! The phone thing is one of my BIGGEST things I despise. I don't own a smart phone and I never will. I have a cell phone that is never in my hand and always in my purse and half the time I have no idea it buzzed or rang. My phone isn't part of me. I have one for emergency contact reasons since I have small children. But let's move on.

     Are you guilty of hearing, but not listening? Are you guilty of listening, but maybe not to everything, and then jumping in with a response? Are you guilty of responding by telling the other person the same thing happened to you and than turning it into all about you? Do you give judgement or advice? Do you give advice that isn't asked for? Sometimes you just need to zip it and listen. I am not going to pat myself on the back, because I have been guilty of some of those things, but I have always been told I was a good listener. My friends and family have always come to me when they need to talk it out, or looking for advice. I may not have any, but I can listen. I think everyone can think back through their relationships and remember a time that maybe they didn't listen, they weren't focused on the person and their words, or they gave advice where none was asked for, or even needed. Or maybe you even jumped to conclusions or became accusatory or judgmental before even hearing what the person said.

James 1:19 - Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger

Reviewing 1989

Its been a while since I wrote any sort of review. Today I am gonna put words to my thoughts on Taylor Swift's move from country to pop-country to all pop. Taylor's 5th album (not including her Christmas one) is titled 1989 - after the year of her birth I presume. If you have her other albums and you know anything about her songs - her writing, her words, her letters to you - than you will quickly see that aspect of her hasn't changed when you read her album insert and listen to the songs. What you will hear different is the sound of her music. There's no country here anymore. The girl from Reading, PA...the girl who sang of Tim McGraw and teardrops on guitars....is a woman of New York City now, but who still has a lot to say. If you pay attention and you buy the actual CD's and read the inserts you will also notice that there is only ONE song on the album that she is solely credited for writing; this is a departure from other albums. There is no doubt in my mind that Taylor is talented. If I didn't think so I wouldn't have bought every single one of her CD's. I did had reservations about purchasing this one as I knew the Taylor of old was now new. I won't post her letter to us, her fans, her listeners, but I will post this excerpt because it sums up the entire album and the change in style:

" I've told you my stories for years now. Some have been about coming of age, some have about coming undone. This is a story about coming into your own, and as a result....coming alive."  

That is the nature of Taylor's albums - they were her stories. She puts her writing, her stories, to music.