when suffering, don't run

My mother's birthday is coming up in two days. Of course she no longer has birthday's. Thursday will be a hard day for me and my family. My mom would have been just 64. I am certainly not the only person in the world who's lost a parent, in fact my husband lost his mother to cancer after a 14 month battle on Jan 25, 2006. That was 8 years ago and though the pain may have lessened, its still there and I am sure much more so for him and his family. Her birthday was just one day after mine. She was 60 when she passed away. I know they say it gets easier - maybe it does - I really don't have a read on how my husband and his brother deal with their mother being gone. I had become close with their Dad following that and I do know how badly he suffered. He has since re-married and celebrated his one year anniversary this year. Its fantastic to see him so happy and I know his wife wanted that too. 

We are studying Job in Sunday school right now. There were two different classes to choose from and I was torn on what I wanted to study, but now that we are in it, I think this is probably where I need to be right now. When you talk about suffering, Job suffered. Its interesting to hear my pastor talk about this man and his life. I know my pastor gets that many of us are also suffering in some way and he knows how that makes many of us feel - our human nature. We are only in the 3rd week of the study and sadly I will be missing week 4, but we have already learned that Job was a good man and believer and trusted in his Heavenly Father. The Bible suggests that Satan came to God and asked to test Job, thinking that he would surely falter once life wasn't so easy for him. After everything was taken from him ; his wealth, his lands, his farmhands, his animals, his children, his wife's trust, his health ; Job responded by worshiping the Creator. He didn't sit there and wallow in self pity or give up hope and wish to die. Those trials, those tests, that I talked about in my last post, Job went through that, and God knew he would not falter. 


Satan wants us to stray, he wants to show God that when challenged we are weak and quick to curse God. That is an easy thing to do, but that is something we need NOT to do. It doesn't make it easier to understand why things happen, however. It still then makes me question, does God give the trials or do they come from Satan? And why does God allow them? Solely to see what our response is? Did God allow Satan to take my mother's health? Why? I felt like my mother was a pretty strong believer. Of course I can't know what was in her heart or head, only her actions and verbally. This brings me to more regret. Did my mother curse God when she knew she had cancer, or when she knew there was no hope? She didn't seem too. She read her Bible until she could no longer see the words clearly, than others read to her. Was my mother's death to be an example, was it to make me see what I have been doing wrong? I don't want her death to be about me...and it wasn't...there were plenty of others in that room. My regret is not knowing and not being in a good mindset or strong in my faith to help her. I know she spoke to her pastor on occasion but what did I do? Not nearly enough. My mother brought her boyfriend to the Lord. He became a Christian because of her testimony before she was afflicted with cancer. I have yet to lead anyone to Christ, but I am working on my children. I have decided that I think I need to be re-baptized in the near future to re-affirm my faith and show that I am committed to it. 

Affliction - "something that causes pain or suffering." That's the definition. When I used that word affliction in the previous paragraph I am reminded of my Bible study last week; this was part of our discussion. I still could not bring myself to share anything personal about me. My next session is on my mother's birthday, so I am not sure where my head will be. In the discussion last week there was a lot of talk about Satan bringing these afflictions to us to challenge us and one of the ladies brought up the point that she doesn't think that all situations and bad things in our lives are Satan's doings and we can't just blame him every time as God created us with free will, and we are all born sinners. She is correct in that sometimes our bad choices are just that, our bad choices, brought on by our human nature or desire, to sin. But is that not Satan still? He tempted Eve. He didn't make her sin- her own free will did that- but he put that temptation there. God didn't create sin, He created free will. He didn't make us robots to do what he says, but he wants us to follow Him. Adam and Eve sinned. Sin was born when they chose to listen to the devil and made their own choice to eat that fruit. Maybe sin was really born when Lucifer fell; an angel no more. Satan wants us to think that if it makes us feel good, its not bad. Today's world promotes that idea as well.

Job suffered terrible losses, all at the same time. My pastor says that we don't suffer like that, and yet I feel as though I have had many afflictions piling on top of each other in a very short time. (Health, happiness, loss, weight of others, etc) When hit with so much, or any terrible affliction, one might ask, "why me?". I know I did and I know my mother did too. My pastor also pointed out that when we are hit with these things we feel like God is punishing us for something. I nodded as he spoke cause, yes, I have felt that. In the end Job continues to worship and praise God and even pray for others and God rewards him. 

From Christianity.about.com - "While suffering is the chief theme of the book, a reason for suffering is not given. Instead, we are told that God is the highest law in the universe and that often his reasons are known only to him.

We also learn that an invisible war is raging between the forces of good and evil. Satan sometimes inflicts suffering on human beings in that battle.

God is good. His motives are pure, although we may not always understand them. God is in control and we are not. We have no right to give God orders.

Appearances are not always reality. When bad things happen to us, we cannot presume to know why. What God wants from us is faith in him, no matter what our circumstances may be. God rewards great faith, sometimes in this life, but always in the next."

I think that sums things up pretty well.