While a Mom's group, or a Playgroup have good intentions and they can be good, with them comes a lot of not good. If you're new to an area, or just looking to make friends for yourself or your children, these groups are often sought out, and for that reason they can be a good thing - if you follow all their rules and fit in with their clicks. Many of us do not. I am one of those who has never just fit-in. (which reminds me to pick up the current book I'm reading, Everything Sucks, by Hannah Friedman - a review will come later either here or on Goodreads)
As I am just not one to fit-in with most crowds, this also limits the amount of people I can call my friends. I have never sought to be popular, never needed a slew of friends - a couple good ones is all you need - that's my theory. As a woman, I find it very hard to make not only friends, but good, quality friends with other women. Let's face it, some women, whether intentionally or not, create drama, and many of them just seem to need it in their lives all the time. I'm not saying men don't do this, but from where I sit, I don't see that men cause drama for drama's sake. You may ask now, but what do you mean, drama? Well, drama involves talking about a person behind their back, or saying things to another person knowing what you say will get back to the one you really want to say it too. It involves opening your mouth when you probably should have kept it closed. If your intent is to hurt someone maliciously, than yeah..that's drama. If you have nothing good, or nice to say, then keep your mouth shut because if you don't, you just created a problem where there wasn't one, or where there didn't need to be one.
I've seen this in my life, I've seen this online, in forums, message boards, Facebook - everywhere. You can't escape it and at one time or another perhaps I even created some - but not with that purpose or even knowing I did, until it was too late - and you may have too. Back to my point - mom's groups - you have to go in to them knowing that you will never get a long with 40 + women. That isn't possible, I don't care who you are. You're personality is going to clash with someone. You have 3 choices when this happens. 1) Avoid the person, 2) Start drama with or about them, 3)leave the group. I myself have done both 1 and 3. Staring crap with someone that you just don't agree with only causing more problems. It won't help to talk about the problem because it will likely lead no where. The best thing to do is to avoid this person or if it is too much for you, or there are just other things going on, leave the group, find another one. My honest opinion, however, is that you will never find any group of women where there is zero drama.
Because I am not gonna start drama, I am not saying any more about my own personal experiences. I'm no longer in any playgroup or mom's group and for me, it was the best decision of my life. Is there still drama in my life? Sure there is. I'm a woman with sisters and a sister-in-law and girlfriends, and I'm married with kids - trust me, plenty of drama remains. I never enjoyed all the drama and bullying in highschool - again, I never fit-in - and to me those groups, as well as Facebook, it's highschool all over again. You have to be the bigger person and learn to walk away. I'm walking away.
On the subject of bullying - yes, you get this in these groups as well. You feel pressured to do things - that's a bully. You're picked on for no good reason - that's a bully. All my life I've been bullied. It's time to stand up and say, "I'm not gonna be bullied anymore". Remove the bully's from your life and don't allow them to make you feel like dirt. Don't give them the satisfaction of seeing you hurt. Walk away..say nothing...trust me, that hurts them. They can then seeth an stew destroying themselves while you move on with your life.
Bullies aren't just seen on the playground or in the classroom - you can find them at work, online, in a playgroup - they can be children or adults. Don't allow yourself to bullied.
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